LIFE'S GAME

My words have wasted away, slowly they began to decay. You pierced my heart with your sharp words that stung my face as they rolled off your tongue. I can’t take it anymore my soul has lost its light and made the darkness its home, maybe if I pray hard enough it will be ok, my scars will heal and the burning pain will fade away but maybe it’s too late. My tears have become routine. A permanent imperfection on my cheek, I can’t see through the blur of the stinging tears that threaten me. I’m just a child and maybe I’m blinded by what I can’t see. Paralysed by what I can’t reach. Silenced by what I can’t preach. I’m numb from all this emotion, but it’s still burning me. I let pain embrace me, it’s strangling me. Cutting off my air supply, now I have no words and I can’t breathe. I’m trapped by my own fear. Fear that’s penetrated too deep. Scaring all the hope, faith and life out of me.

Drowning in my own suffering, watching what I used to be float away. Flinching at the sight of the pain stained girl in the mirror staring back at me, loss, heartbreak and hate dripping from her eyes. The Red pain like indelible ink on her skin. The world outside has melted away, now all that’s left is the ash dust of my broken dreams that used to be, once upon a time. Distant memories now merged with the misty fog that’s poisoned my mind.

The sun is dead, the wind is still and the loud silence lingers, making my eardrums stutter with such intensity, the loud silence deafening to me. There’s a black hole in my chest where my heart should be, you took it without permission, you stole it from me. Then you neglected it and left it on the floor for dog’s feed. Now I’m immune, there’s no room for feeling, emptiness has filled me. Your love was bittersweet, more bitter than sweet. The aftertaste still in my mouth stinging like salt on a fresh wound. The cold air gestured to me, caressing my cheek inviting me to join the chill of the dark waters beneath me. I saw my reflection. Distorted beauty gazed longingly back at me.

Those waters whispering sweetly to me, drawing me closer. I let my past deceive my future so I have nothing at all. It’s all crumbled down. I caved in and allowed the lights enemy to appeal to my weakness. What’s the point in fighting a battle I’ve already lost? I’m beyond saving, how can I be saved when I’m dead inside? I let life slowly pass me by. There’s no use screaming any more, no one cares, not even I have the ears to listen. Some cry tears, mine come out of blood. I was told life was just a game, maybe next time I should have learnt how to play.